What About The Money, Honey?
"In the end, they wanted security more than they wanted freedom."
- Edward Gibbon
If freedom is a choice, security is an old and deep impulse within us. Freedom and security are often at odds with each other. Freedom calls us to follow our curiosities, to challenge the status quo, to take risks and step outside of our comfort zone. Security is survival. It’s getting food on the table and a roof over our head. Freedom is the higher consciousness and visionary side of self. Security grounds us in our mortality, our basic human needs.
So where are you on the spectrum? I’m like a pendulum, swinging between the two, as my life naturally expands and contracts in cycles. I find myself constantly experimenting with these two questions:
1. How can I live in a way that stretches me out of the humdrum, so that I feel alive and empowered by taking action towards my desires?
2. And how can I do this without sending my body and mind over the edge, into a survival fight/flight/freeze/fawn response?
It’s all about dancing on the edge.
For me, money is often the magnet pulling me back towards security and away from freedom. But does money always provide a sense of security?
In my experience, no. I had 6 months of living costs in the bank when I left my full-time job early last year. Yet in my first few days of freedom, I was already worrying about what I would do when this money ran out. Regardless of being both secure and free in the present moment, my perspective and conditioning had the power to obscure that reality.
Similarly, just after Christmas, with two months of financial security paid ahead, I found myself stuck in future thinking again. A mentor asked me a wonderful question that grounded me in the present. What was I planning to do with this amazing opportunity? I had two months taken care of, where I could focus on my music, just like I wanted. Something finally clicked. The security I was trying to create was already here.
So this is my current practise. I observe when I’m feeling disconnected from either security or freedom. I reflect on why I feel separated, if there is something I need right now and what’s the first step towards this. I notice that I always have exactly what I need to take this action. I take the step, usually after a period of discomfort and procrastination. I express gratitude as I reconnect to my innate sense of security and freedom, and enjoy the feeling of equilibrium that follows.
On the other side of 9-5
In this chat with my long time friend and collaborator Lloyd Malouf, we reflect on the ups and downs of quitting our full time jobs, to commit to a life of freedom and creativity.