anti- paradise

the transparency

of your false kingdom

don’t worry

I have one too

spent years building

these walls up around me

my external validation

now too high to climb over

we thought these things were important

that this made us good humans.

lush gardens grow

beautiful to the eyes

with roots buried in toxic soil

my own particular poison

my own private atmosphere

that somehow keeps me thriving

in the wrong kind of survival

in an anti-paradise

my perfect prison

that my mind races to secure

each moment of every day

only temporary visitors allowed.

2020-now